PROGRESS: Day 3.3

Today has been another good day! It’s been similar to last week where Thursday was a great day where I had a wonderful and recharging night of sleep. Then Thursday night’s sleep was not as good, but I still got a decent amount and it was fairly restful. I took it easy today by working from home and limiting my exercise to taking Ginny for a walk. I would actually even say that my heartburn hasn’t been as bad so far this week as it was in previous weeks.

All in all, I really can’t complain! The only interesting thing is that after my first treatment, I definitely thought I had picked up the cold that everyone else in the house seemed to have. The Friday and Saturday after my first treatment, I had congestion, a slight cough and eye “goopiness.” That all improved a bit by the time I got to my second treatment. Then on Friday, I had some congestion and eye “goopiness,” but not as bad as the weekend before. Then after this third treatment, I woke up this morning with some eye crusties as well. But each subsequent Friday has been better than the one before. My doctor says that I wouldn’t really get congestion or eye crusties from treatment, so he figured it was a cold as well. I suppose it’s possible this could be the same cold and it will just linger for awhile.

While I realize the goopiness or crustiness of my eyes is not a super interesting thing for people reading this, these progress reports also serve as a reminder to me what I was experiencing and when. I appreciate all of you for listening though!

My hair is also surprising me as well! I wash my hair on Fridays and Tuesdays. If I’m really honest with myself, I can’t say that the shedding appears to be all that different from my normal shedding. What will be interesting though is whether or not new hairs are replacing the ones that are falling out (which is what would normally happen). It’s possible that those hairs that have been shed will have a delay in their new one coming out to take its place. But it’s possible that this rate of shedding might not be too horrible and that I could retain a pretty significant percentage of my hair. Especially if regrowth happens before my treatment is done, it might not be too noticeable, even to me! That would be pretty awesome.

As far as physical side effects, I think my response to treatment really should be celebrated. I know I’m only three weeks in, but I know a lot of other people go through much worse and I am lucky to get all of these good days. I’m trying to capitalize on this good fortune by taking care of myself and getting my exercise and rest in each day. Emotionally, every day is still hard. Some days are easier than others, but it can be difficult when I think about the future. I hope and pray that I will be fortunate to count off the years with no evidence of disease (NED). I wish I could know with certainty today that all of this will be worth it and that I will not experience a recurrence. It’s scary to consider going through all of this again – not just the treatments, but the surgeries and the waiting for pathology reports and lab results. I am definitely going to experience the fear every six months as I go for my surveillance appointments of mammograms or MRIs. But the thought of having to hear I need another biopsy or finding out the result of that biopsy is not good is a very scary prospect.

That’s why every clear scan will be another victory. It will be another 6 months away from this diagnosis. It will be another 6 months of no recurrence and as those months and years add up I can feel more and more certain that it truly is all behind me. I know that doesn’t necessarily mean I would never get breast cancer again, but it would mean this one is gone for good. But I need to just take one day at a time. I must live each day well and keep my priorities straight. It helps to remind myself that things happen all the time and we don’t know when they will happen or if they will be good or bad. So all you can do is just live your life the way you want to live it and try your best not to waste your time on things that don’t matter or bring you happiness. And that’s exactly what I have to do.

Other goings-ons

Maddie unfortunately picked up another cold at daycare. I swear, we have made it through the entire pandemic and beyond and she has picked up probably every other conceivable cold other than COVID. Poor kiddo developed a fever after coming home from school and was a coughing a bunch. We tested her earlier this week when she had a runny nose and cough, but it was negative. And we tested her again tonight and she was negative. She gets her second COVID shot on Tuesday and I’m really hoping we can avoid any COVID until I get through my treatment! I just don’t want to have anything delayed.

The funny thing is that she was absolutely miserable and then we gave her some Tylenol to bring her fever down. Within 30 minutes she was bouncing around, asked for spaghetti for dinner and then ate a delicious cookie that Grandma made. Hopefully this cold follows a similar pattern to the numerous others she’s had and she’ll be fever free going forward and on the mend tomorrow. And fingers crossed that I don’t catch it!