One Year. My Cancer-versary

A year in review

It has been exactly one year. One year since my life changed forever. April 8th was the day I found out I had cancer. In fairness, it was the day that I was told I had Ductal Carcinoma in Situ (DCIS) – pre-cancer. But at the time I knew so much less than I know today, so hearing that I had anything that wasn’t just benign was earth-shattering. I thought I was going to be dead by today. It wouldn’t be until June 2nd that I found out I had Invasive Ductal Carcinoma (IDC). 

I am not sure I have spent much time considering which day is the most poignant for me in this journey. Other days to consider were the day I cut out my cancer, May 27th. There is the day I found out about my invasive cancer, as I mentioned above. I can’t really go with the day I finished treatment because I’m still getting treated! Considering all those options, I still think today is the “right” day. It was the day when I started thinking about how I spend my time differently. It was the day that I started reading a lot more information about breast cancer. It was the day my blissful ignorance was shattered believing that bad things only happened to other people. It was the day that I realized no matter how many ways I tried to lower my risk of bad things, the probability was never going to go to zero. 

Looking back on this year, it’s hard to believe all the things I have experienced, overcome and made it through. If I count all the appointments, medical procedures and other related activities since the start of this journey it amounts to:

• 3 mammograms
• 1 MRI
• 2 biopsies
• 3 surgeries
• 12 chemotherapy infusions
• 9 Herceptin maintenance infusions
• 3 echocardiograms
• 32 doctor’s appointments
• 20 radiation treatments

Man, that’s quite a lot of stuff considering I used to only have one to two doctor’s appointments a year! And I also look at that list and know that I am incredibly lucky that it wasn’t a lot more than that. Many other women have more infusions, more surgeries, more complications, etc. So, while that list is long, I’m incredibly thankful it is not longer. 

What does it mean to me?

Honestly, I’m not sure if this specific day means a lot to me right now. I believe it will mean more to me as the disease-free years go by and I feel more and more secure in the fact that I have potentially completely beat this thing. I could never forget this date though. At this point in my life, it is the only anniversary I care about that is not a joyful one for me. My latest mammogram was probably more significant to me than this anniversary, because that truly felt like a big event to get through. 

In retrospect, this anniversary should mean a lot to me. When I received that phone call, I went straight to the thought of “this is it, I’m going to die.” I thought I wasn’t going to see Maddie grow up. But here I am, it’s been a whole year and I’m in a very excellent position. When I think about it that way, I realize this is a very important day. 

The most impactful part of this day is that it makes me want to ensure that no one else ever experiences this. It makes me want to do something to make sure Maddie doesn’t go through this. While I have always been conversationally passionate about women’s health, this experience has given me a bias for action. That is why I am motivated to try and keep my blog going. It is why I continue to read papers about breast cancer. It is why I am taking steps to get more involved in breast cancer research advocacy. I want to share my story if it helps people cope with their news or assists a researcher in focusing their research. I want to do whatever I can to push research forward, especially to help young women.

While I do not desire any one to develop breast cancer at any point in their life, breast cancer in young women or young men has an added layer of difficulty to it. Many haven’t had children yet or haven’t completed their families. Many are left with permanent scars that cause them consistent pain. Many found out when they were pregnant or new moms and had that joy of motherhood stolen from them. They aren’t the population who gets screened and it’s hard to find. 

So today I celebrate being here. I celebrate the fact that I was lucky and have an excellent prognosis. I am thankful that my journey has inspired and motivated me to try and do something for others. Here’s to one year and hopefully many, many more!