Preparing for Treatment: Supplies

I have spent some time searching the internet and Facebook groups looking for all of the recommendations for going through chemotherapy. I’m fortunate that I will be receiving the least bad chemo drug, Taxol, along with the HER2-targeted treatment, Herceptin. A week or so ago I had to sit through my chemo consent appointment where I had to have the nurse tell me all the potentially horrible side effects so that I could consent to treatment. Talk about being between a rock and hard place!

Joking aside, many women have the unfortunate pleasure of taking these drugs and they do very well and tolerate them. Short-term pain for long-term gain. But given that there can be a lot of terrible side effects, there are some things they recommend to bring to or keep on-hand during your chemo treatment.

Neuropathy

One of the biggest concerns is neuropathy from the chemo drugs. It’s actually just like the neuropathy that diabetics can sometimes develop if their disease isn’t well-managed. To protect your hands and feet, you need to keep them cold before, during, and for a time after your chemo infusion. It’s actually quite similar to the scalp cooling that I’m doing.

Many women will put their hands and feet either in ice baths, hold bags of ice, or put their hands in bags of ice. They also make these really nifty mitts and socks that hold specially fitted ice packs in place. From people’s recounting online, it sounds like I’m basically going to keep switching out the cooling packs when they warm up a bit.

I purchased the Health Hands Ice Pack Wrap for my hands and the NutraCure Cold Therapy Socks for my feet. I ordered extra ice packs for both of them so that I could swap them out during my therapy.

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A quick childhood story

When I was in high school, I played multiple sports. During my sophomore year of high school I had been playing soccer in the fall and one day I kicked my foot into the ground and it really hurt – a lot. After not going away, I went to the doctor and had some scans. I found out that I had a small, itty-bitty fracture of a bone in my foot. I couldn’t play soccer the rest of the season, my foot was in a boot and a new person entered my life – Trainer Bob.

Trainer Bob was not exactly the image of the quintessential athletic trainer. He was a large man who waddled a little more than walked. He was also an incredibly grumpy human being who appeared to hate all young people making it further puzzling why he was the athletic trainer at a high school. He was primarily the football team’s trainer, so maybe he liked the football players as an exception. He had a golf cart that he would drive around our campus to visit the sports teams in case people needed aid. You could hear his grumbles as he puttered along. I don’t

The first day I headed to Trainer Bob’s, I descended to the basement of our school. It was a cramped room that seemed to be buried beneath the brick bleachers on the backside of our school. Honestly, I’m not sure I can truly remember where it was located in the floorplan of the school, but it felt underground. It was furnished with Trainer Bob’s desk, a huge ice machine, a few metal chairs and a couple of physical therapy benches. I noticed a group of other students, silently sitting with various appendages submerged in a large bucket.

”Bucket.”

That’s it. Those were the first words spoken to me by Trainer Bob. He looked so angry and unhappy, I was afraid to upset him anymore than his natural baseline. I took my boot off, grabbed a metal chair, plunged my foot (really my leg up to my knee) into the bucket and sat silently with the rest of the student athletes. No one spoke. No one even really looked up. It was torture. After a minute, I pulled my leg out to massage my frozen foot when I felt something hit the back of my head. I saw pre-wrap roll away from me on the floor.

”Keep it in the bucket. 15 minutes,” he grumbled at me. I dutifully returned my leg to the bucket. It was awful, but I got through it. And eventually I actually was able to develop some type of relationship with Trainer Bob. I even got him to barely crack a smile that he quickly scowled back into a frown. I like to think that I brought some joy and happiness in those 15 minutes a day. I’ll never know though, because he’d absolutely never tell me or any other living soul. Partly, I just want to believe it’s true, because I want to believe part of his job made him happy.

I retell this story mostly because it’s the first thing I think about as I imagine my first day of chemo. I’m going to have a helmet, mitts and socks of ice to chill my body parts. It’ll be longer than 15 minutes, but, if I’m honest, you would normally stop feeling things after only about five. Hopefully the nurses aren’t too grumpy, but I will laugh if one of them is named Bob.

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Dry Skin and Brittle Nails

I’ve been told that chemo is going to really dry me out. The nurse recommended lots of lotion and the online community recommended some nail strengthener for both my finger and toe nails. Some chemo drugs make people’s nails sensitive to UV light which can cause darkening or the drugs themselves darken the nails – I’m not quite sure of the reason. To help with all of this I bought:

• Sally Hansen Repair + Rescue Super Strength Defense
• Cerave Moisturizing Cream (which I’ve always used)
• Dove Deep Moisturizing Body Wash (also a staple)
• Tea Tree Oil (for nail/cuticle dryness)

I’m still looking into hair care products, but my Paxman Scalp Cooling cap came with shampoo and conditioner that’s recommended. Paxman suggests products that are paraben, sulfate, dye and fragrance free. I’ve noticed people on the internet will sometimes use whatever they want. It’s possible your skin can be more sensitive during treatment which is why they recommend to err on the side being more conservative with the ingredients in your products. As a person who washes my hair daily, the biggest challenge will be only washing my hair twice a week. I’m counting on the fact that I should dry out and be less oily, so my hair will need less washing. A lot of people just recommend to do what makes you feel good.

All the other body side effects

I’m sure everyone can relate to the ”nausea, vomiting, diarrhea or constipation” side effects that are frequently listed for almost every single drug that is advertised. The nurse basically recommended that I keep things like Colace (help with constipation) and Immodium (for diarrhea) on hand since the Over-the-Counter solutions usually work just fine for people. Then there’s the things like Advil and Tylenol to help with aches and pains. But it sounds like I won’t need many other things for my particular treatment regimen other than what they give me as pre-meds at my infusions.

A weird parallel

In some ways, going and getting this ”care kit” assembled felt somewhat reminiscent of getting a hospital bag together for when Maddie was born. Generally when you are pregnant there are ton of little lotions, ginger candies for morning sickness (also know as all-day general sickness for some), or odds-and-ends to help during pregnancy or as you get closer to delivery. This felt a little like that, except it brought more feelings of dread than excitement. Both experiences brought feelings of nervousness knowing that I wouldn’t know what the experience would be like until I actually went through it.

That has probably been one of the hardest parts of going through this whole situation at this age. I’m sure I’m not the only one. Breast cancer feels like it should be something that happens to old ladies (apologies to any women of advanced age reading this). Ideally, it would happen to no one. You always know there is a lifetime risk of it, but you never think it will happen to you. But for many young women especially, your 20s and 30s are supposed to be about starting a family or adding to your family. It’s about groaning about pregnancy pains, gaining too much weight or having morning sickness that just lasts all day and only lets you eat cheese cubes. Your not supposed to be removing your breasts – the tools you use to feed your child. Your not supposed to be pumping your body full of poisons – you should be avoiding them. Your not supposed to be going to the hospital to find out how big your tumor is – you should be going to hear your baby’s heart beat.

I am being treated at the same place where I delivered Maddie three years ago. The first few times I walked into the hospital after my initial diagnosis felt so unfair. This was the place where my whole family came to meet our new baby girl. For me and all women who go through this, you are sidelined. My doctors have said it’s recommended to wait two years from diagnosis until you try to conceive. And for a lot of women like me whose tumors are hormone receptor positive, you have to take a break from medications that are intended to drive down chances of recurrence. And I don’t even know why my cancer happened in the first place. Was it related to my recent pregnancy? Was it just random? I probably won’t ever know the answer to that.

Tomorrow I will head into the infusion clinic with my husband with my chemo bag and all my preparatory items. I’ll ice my body parts and get my infusions. It won’t be as wonderful of an experience as it was welcoming our daughter, but it is hopeful to know that I am starting the beginning of a journey that will keep me around to enjoy all of those future moments with my daughter, husband, family and friends.