Radiation Day 19 & 20 of 20 – Another Chapter Over

This was the day I have been waiting for since I first learned I was going to have to have radiation therapy. I was so nervous about the idea of having radiation, even back when I thought I only had Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (DCIS). Chemo was scary, but I wasn’t nearly as nervous for chemo as I was for the start of radiation. I cried on my first day of radiation! They all felt so bad for me and promised it wasn’t going to be that bad. I definitely bucked up after that first day. Radiation is over so quickly, after a few times, it feels hard to even have time to get nervous.

But I was nervous again today. I was kind of emotional driving to treatment. I showed up with my Target bag of chocolates. I decided to make little goody bags of Lindt chocolate balls for everyone in the department. Everyone who helped me get through this includes:

• Corinna and Dawn – the two lovely front desk ladies who greeted me and gave me my parking validation ticket
• Lori and Melissa – the two nurses who would check my vitals and my skin every week
• Dr. Okoye and Dr. Jacobs – My awesome doctor and the other radiation oncologist
• Fabs, Tim, Abby and Angie – The radiation therapists who pushed on back, pulled my arms, told me I wasn’t stinky (even when I’m sure I was), checked to make sure I was who they were supposed to be treating and always made sure they were treating the correct body part!

They were all really nice to work with and they took great care of me while I was there. I will probably still see them when I come in for my check-ups with Dr. Okoye, but I told them I sincerely hope I never see them again in that treatment room!

My last treatment went just like all of the others (uneventful) except today we played some Taylor Swift for my final treatment instead of the usual oldies. Oh and the dust panel from the radiation machine was missing. Apparently I was the only patient who seemed to notice that. One of the imaging panels usually has a white cover, but today it was exposed and the imaging equipment was visible. The dust panel had come loose and it was throwing faults, so they removed it so it wouldn’t keep causing issues. Maybe I’m the only patient who lays on their stomach for treatment. This means that I look at the machine during my treatment. If most people are on their back, I don’t think they’d see the machine all that much. After my treatment, Fabs, Tim and Angie gave me hugs and then I met with Dr. Jacobs because Dr. Okoye was on vacation this week (which he told me last week). But I get to see him again on December 14th for a quick check-up. She said everything looked great and she congratulated me on my final treatment.

As far as my reaction to radiation, I’m definitely super happy. I remember when I went for my consent and planning appointment, they told me all the awful things that could happen. I was expecting my skin to look darker and bright red. I thought my skin would be peeling and that it would feel like the most awful sunburn I have ever had. I don’t know about anyone else, but all the sunburns I have had left my skin extremely dry, itchy, tight and painful to the touch. My skin is definitely pinker than it normally is, but it hasn’t peeled and it doesn’t hurt. It is maybe a bit itchy, but only right after I put the gel on. I have some tenderness if I get a big hug or lay on my stomach, but the skin isn’t painful. At least as of right now, I wouldn’t describe it as a sunburn. I will see over the next few weeks if it worsens at all, but I definitely thought I wasn’t going to be able to wear a bra or clothes without significant discomfort. My expectations have been immensely exceeded, for sure!

After I met with Dr. Jacobs, I went to the front desk to make my follow-up appointment and then I got to ring the radiation bell. I felt kind of silly to be honest. Corinna was nice enough to take a short video and a couple of pictures. I’m the last patient of the day and I can’t blame them all for wanting to pack up and get outta there. It was just me and Corinna, but when I started ringing the bell I heard them all in the back clapping and cheering for me!

My biggest motivation for ringing the bell today was actually because of someone’s story I just recently read online. A lady who had been diagnosed with breast cancer was sitting in the waiting room waiting to be called back for one of her chemo infusions. She was chatting with another lady next to her who had metastatic breast cancer. That lady asked her if she was going to ring the bell when she finally finished all of her treatments. She said she wasn’t sure because it felt kind of silly. But the lady with metastatic breast cancer told her that she hoped that she would change her mind when the time came and ring the bell, not just for completing her own treatment, but to ring it for all of those ladies who would never get to ring it because their cancer was incurable. So I decided, I might feel ridiculous ringing a bell (which was really loud in my ear, by the way!), but I would ring it because I am one of the lucky ones who gets to ring the bell. Because I didn’t want to minimize a symbolic gesture that others would not be lucky enough to have the opportunity to do. Because I am cured.

After my treatment, we went out to dinner at Sally O’s, a delicious restaurant a several blocks up the street from our house. I made sure to get a glass of Prosecco and a hamburger. Then we all shared a big piece of their Birthday Cake, but we all got our own ice cream. Maddie kept trying to stick her fingers in the frosting. She always seems to enjoy eating the ice cream the most, so probably Sean and I ate most of the cake. It was wonderful!

There are still more Herceptin infusions to be had and I picked up my Tamoxifen pills from the pharmacy today (ugh). Treatment isn’t over, but another big chapter is over.